Feeling bad about the garden and other angsty thoughts

Before
I spent the bank holiday with mum trying to tame the wilderness that is my back garden.
When I first started looking for a flat I was adamant that I wanted something with some outdoor space. A mixture of serendipity, patience and sheer bloody mindedness meant I actually got what I was looking for: a spacious ground floor flat in a Victorian town house with 2 massive fireplaces, a courtyard garden and a proper pantry. All within my budget.

I was a good girl to start with; planting bulbs, climbers and veg with care and watering every evening during the dry days of summer. However, recently I have been a bit distracted and everything, flat interior included, has gone a bit Miss Havisham.


The lettuce (left) and broad beans (has beans)
I have included a picture of the lettuce that shot. When I pulled it out it was over 4 foot. I have decided that I am no good at growing edible things. Nothing makes be feel guiltier than throwing food away except perhaps throwing food away that I have grown myself and then left to rot in the ground. I am a terrible excuse for a human being. I also felt bad about the 30 or so empty wine bottles I took the the recycling yesterday. We couldn't park the car outside the flat so I had to do the clinking walk of shame over the road to the T K Maxx car park.

After
It looks like my hours at work are likely to be cut. I have spent a fraught week doing sums in my head, desperately trying to work out if I can afford to stay here or whether I will have to move somewhere smaller. I've just bought 2 pints of milk on my credit card so the answer doesn't look promising. Remember last week when I thought something good was around the corner? Well, feel free to give me an e-slap the next time I start prodding fate with a pointy stick.

My Fabulous Life

So, after 4 months of looking around grotty hovels I have finally moved in to what feels like my dream flat. As is usual with someone of my temperament, I am waiting for things to go horribly wrong.
I feel like I should be cooking lovely, nutritious food, buying flowers and decorating in a shabby chic sort of style ( I spend too much time on interior design blogs) whilst twirling around in circles and blogging about my fabulous life, but instead I am eating mainly Toblerone and last night saw me slumped on my loaned beanbag (sofa arrives next week) watching Glee whilst feeling vaguely melancholy.
I promise to post pictures soon of the paintings I have been working on, this is supposed to be an artist's blog after all. Tomorrow I am off to Art in Action at Waterperry gardens so a report on that coming soon!