- Awake on Saturday morning at your parent's house having slept badly.
- Organise staff bonding session/get together only for it to fracture into splinter groups due to clash with local music festival.
- Take a gorgeous top back to the shop because you simply can't afford it and you're more sensible than that. It's something you never hear these days but it's worth saying: if you can't afford it, don't buy it.
- Put on your favourite skinny jeans, a cheap t-shirt and a beaded shrug. Spend an hour reading Dylan Thomas, having been on a spree in the Oxfam bookshop. Feel good in your own skin, like the best and truest version of yourself.
- Spend the afternoon in a wasp-infested field, drinking warm cider, listening to good music and talking to people that you like.
- Realise that the crush that has been happily fermenting since Christmas has morphed from weak shandy into moonshine of the deadliest potency.
- Watch the object of your affection kiss his girlfriend and wonder, not for the first time, if you can die of dejection.
- Carefully pick your way through the hippies and empty plastic cups smelling pleasantly of weed and cigarette smoke mixed with your Jo Malone perfume. Traipse back to the flat.
- Realise you are meeting friends in a bar in Banbury in a mere 40 minutes. A prospect that, even under the best of circumstances, usually leaves you feeling violent and unhinged.
- Arrange face and posture so that gory heartbreak is not obvious to all and sundry.
- Consume rather too much vodka in a surprisingly nice new bar. Bask in warmth that only good friendship and booze can bring. Decide that your friend Tim is the funniest bloke on the planet even if you now know more than you would like about his dream diary.
- Eat oven pizza at 2am. 'Fess up to 8 months of pale faced pining to a much loved girlfriend. Listen as she shares some of her own secrets.
- Talk until 4.30am. Realise you need to trust your friends more.
- Spend Sunday in bed eating chocoalte, drinking green tea and watching The West Wing.
- Feel strangely optimistic about everything. There are good things around the corner.
This post was bought to you today by Ray Charles singing this
song.
